SVD Postulancy

By: Post. John Ignacios “Igs” Padonia

Oftentimes, I catch myself wondering if I am doing enough. I look at the people around me and quietly ask myself, Am I where I am supposed to be? Should I be better, stronger, more confident, or more successful? These questions really become louder than my own voice. Some days, one small mistake is enough to make me doubt everything I have done. I forget the progress I have made and focus only on what I think I lack.

However, as I slowly grow in my formation, I am beginning to understand something important: one mistake does not define the whole story of who I am. I am more than the things I have done wrong. I am also the lessons I have learned, the struggles I have faced, and the courage I have found to keep going.

I am beginning to understand that being enough does not mean having everything figured out. It means accepting myself while I am still learning. I do not have to be perfect to be worthy. Hence, I can have flaws, make mistakes, and still be proud of the person I am becoming.

Even the way I dress has taught me something beautiful about myself. Normally, I used to save my favorite clothes for special occasions, as if I needed a reason to feel good about myself. Now, I sometimes wear them on an ordinary day, even when I have nowhere important to go. I wear my favorite shirt, my comfortable jeans, or anything that makes me feel like myself. It may seem like a small thing, but perhaps small things are sometimes the ones that quietly remind us of our worth.
When I dress in a way that makes me comfortable, I am not trying to impress anyone. I am simply telling myself I deserve to feel good too. “I do not dress to become someone else; I dress to remind myself that the person I am deserves care.”

Honestly, I still have moments when I doubt myself. I still make mistakes. There are still parts of myself that I struggle to accept, but maybe that is what growing really means—not becoming someone without flaws, but learning to live gently with the person behind them.

Maybe I will never have all the answers. Maybe I will continue to change in ways I cannot yet understand, and perhaps that is okay.
Because I am still learning.

I am still becoming.

And I am still here.

For now, I choose to believe this: I am enough, just as I am and maybe someday, when I look back, I hope I will be proud that I never gave up on becoming someone I could finally call my own.