When we talk about Human Sexuality, the first things that often come to mind are gender and sex. However, I realized that human sexuality is much deeper than these concepts. It is connected to our identity, our relationships, our desires, our struggles, and the way we understand ourselves as human beings.
It is disturbing to realize that many religious people also experience struggles when it comes to their sexual urges and desires. This reminded me that, despite their religious commitments and vocation, they are still human beings.
As I continue to pursue my vocation to the priesthood, I recognize that one of my challenges is learning how to acknowledge, understand, and responsibly manage my own sexual urges. I do not think that having these urges makes me less human or less worthy of my vocation. Rather, becoming aware of them reminds me that I need to know myself more deeply and take responsibility for how I respond to them.
I was reminded of this through the movie Spider-Man: Brand New Day, where Spider-Man struggles with his mutation and the power that comes with it. His abilities make him capable of harming others, creating an internal conflict. Jean Grey asks Spider-Man to choose between Peter Parker and Spider-Man, but Peter chooses both. This made me ask: Why not? Why should I deny one part of myself simply because I am uncomfortable with it?
As a person, I have both a light and a dark side. Acknowledging the darker side of myself does not mean accepting or acting upon everything within me. Rather, becoming aware of my tendencies allows me to exercise greater responsibility and self-control. I cannot control what I may feel or desire, but I can choose how I respond to those feelings and what I do with them. Awareness, therefore, becomes an important part of freedom and responsibility.
Brother Fermin also reminded us that the brighter the light, the darker the shadow. This made me realize that constantly trying to appear as the “good person” in the story isn’t necessarily a healthy way to live. If I keep pretending that I have no weaknesses, struggles, or darker tendencies, I may eventually create a false identity for myself. I could end up trapped in a cage where everything is dark, wearing a mask that hides the genuine person within me. Eventually, that kind of pretension could lead to regret because I would no longer be living truthfully.
For me, accepting my weaknesses does not mean glorifying them. It means having the courage to recognize them, understand them, and take responsibility for them. I believe that genuine formation begins when I stop pretending to be someone I am not and instead allow myself to grow into the person I am called to become.
On the last day of our modular class, we read about Solomon, and I was struck by the meaning of my own name, Jedidiah, which means “beloved.” It reminded me that, despite and in spite of my shortcomings, I am still loved by God. My struggles and weaknesses do not erase my dignity or my worth. This realization gave me hope. I am reminded that there will always be someone who will love me, embrace me, and care for me regardless of who I am and despite my imperfections. More importantly, I believe that God will continue to accompany me as I face my struggles and learn to understand myself more deeply.
Human sexuality, therefore, is not simply about sex or gender. It is also about accepting myself as a whole person—my strengths and weaknesses, my desires and struggles, my light and my shadow—and learning how to live responsibly and truthfully before God and others.
BY: POST. JEDIDIAH BENEDICT “DICT” VALDEVIESO
Leave a Reply